Saturday, 15 March 2008

Diary


2001: sometimes I feel like I’m not from these periods of years, I am made to born for another style of living, and then I say that I am made to refresh the past with my way of creating.

2003-Aug: watching “Frida” in the way to London.. We’re always alone in pain, Paint comes from Pain.
Those who aren’t reading books are the stars of those books, by just being themselves ,by trying & training to ride life in their own way & by feeling the pain of these experiences.
I don’t know which is more comfortable, departing or landing –if we presume safety for both- .. No, departing stands forever with a possibility of a bad landing .. I think I’ll get along with landing after a successful flying because landing means knowing the truth & reality, even if it’s in the end of the journey.

2004-Sep: the most stupid thing I hate about people when they say things, & mean another & they expect us to understand!

2004-Oct: if you depend on what you see you will never end up with satisfaction, but depending on what you feel towards what you see is what matters.
Darkness isn’t our fear, our fear is brightness! Light may harm your eyes then you can’t see it. Your eyes could be perfect, but perfection isn’t a thing we have in mean life. Then light is a thing that we need & use but when it comes to be our aim or seen, it’s going to be harmful, so just a little guidance by its reflection preview would be enough. Unless you are in love with light then no matter how harm it may be.

2005-Feb:
We give value for things, I keep recalling it.
It was a great deal what I saw in my life, but yet nothing..
He is right, I felt that I want to laugh when I saw my writings before.. but I kept it inside because I know that I shouldn’t blame myself, it was another time, & maybe it was a better one, who knows!
I am not in love with my work, I am fascinated with how they vary with time it’s not about practicing nor time, it’s about expressing & our definition for it, ourselves & our existence “Humanity” in which life taught me about its beauty.
Humanity that I always saw it ugly but it’s not, even life is still struggling with this fact!

Life taught me the great difference between knowing & understanding, in which their substances contain a completely different subjects as their titles are.
The lack of creativity, happened because “The sense of Wonder” has been redefined for lots of people as “The SIN of Wonder”.

“I tried to picture you & this is what I see, a young boy who’s strong & bright, a boy filled with curiosity about life, a boy who isn’t afraid to learn from his mistakes.”
__Seven Years In Tibet

In this vacation I learned what does “Seven Years (talk) In Tibet” means.

Feb 2006:
So come along my rhyme mate
under the sky of fate
above the "so many" state
to fly,
without a try

for our names are just a lie,

for the sake of being
if the soul should not dry
lets fly

14th Feb 2007:
Since we got here (Boston), it was a clear weather cold and sometimes windy but always sunny
..
I used to believe that love is white, i always end letters to my friends as "with white love". Now this belief has set its physics.

In the day of love, everything "covered" with white. very vivid! very disturbing to the eyes and a big phenomenon that should be described as a condition. Very dangerous to walk on many people trying to reduce it with salt and mud. and another one is trying to push it to sides where it is safer to remain.
Everything is covered with white.
people are trying to send messages.. traces of maps.. many pathways.. the sufficient love letters..
are trying to reveal intentions, but covered after a minute, with layers of white grounds. the special creation of ground. the outer creation of land.
Love performance, is the whiteness of covering, and the nobelty of its appearance.

and the trees are standing in their strongest state for their exam, to be handled.

the structure of the tree is astonishingly respectable when you look, from the darker sides of the river to check the snow storm you can't believe the calmness of the trees that are barely moving. when i saw the trees i wondered, because with its white background it's shown how similar it was to many other things in nature.


[I found this in my documents, I think there were some days when I was digitalizing my diaries, yet remained incomplete. these bits and pieces reveal parts of a person’s line of thought. we always tend to believe we are the same and our thoughts are only slightly changing, until you become shocked by lots of layers went over a single perspective.]

4 comments:

Someday said...

The text is so rich in context!!
Enshallah we’ll be back! I need time to take it all in!!:$

..::Amu::.. said...

The text is really nice specially some of things mentioned are so typical in every persons life!

Someday said...

landing! What away to put ends!

in which their substances contain a completely different subjects as their titles are, absolutely true

The lack of creativity: I’ve always struggled with that, and still failing

sufficient love letters that’s true love you found it you see it, and there for I think it should be, Love performance, is the whiteness of uncovering, or am I missing something here?!?!

Deema said...

the whiteness of covering, dearest, love "when i was in Boston" was a tricky game.. it covers every thing with white.. so you get lost, disturbed and then when you start walking, playing and try doing something about this whiteness.. love is going to be revealed in the negative image of this white ground.

but in my life, i have never learned about the "whiteness of uncovering" I never saw such thing, i wish though.