I hope you are doing great in your foreign land. when you were here I never thought of this weird connection between us that makes us talk non-stop hours. I just enjoyed these times.. when you left I didn't really miss you, I am busy and I am not a person with attachment. after about 2 weeks I just couldn't help thinking about you all the time, bring up the "missing you subject" to all my friends but it came so achingly. Maybe this occurs with you in particular because I never felt our relationship is happening out of the form of duty.
Lately I worked a lot, my feelings were deserted for a while. my thoughts are going through extreme shifts. I demand many lonesome times. I don't know why I consider you a part of my lonesome time. I really don't know Dalal, but there is an urge in me to see you. is it a feel to escape what i am in (a lotta work) or a normal nostalgic feeling?
maybe this questioning is because I'm usually a solo in my daily life there are some moments in the day when i see people and then they fade within so many occurrences, coincidences and plans.
my brain is always busy, but rarely about other people, the people in my mind are very limited. I don't know if it's a good thing or not, it's not because I'm selfish but my head cannot stand not relating thoughts together that made my thoughts shift from the norm..
but this urge of traveling to where you are is making me into the absolute missing of a friend, although I am interested in the way you think it is no longer interesting at this time.. i just need this presence of someone I care about, not necessarily to have a conversation.
Lately I worked a lot, my feelings were deserted for a while. my thoughts are going through extreme shifts. I demand many lonesome times. I don't know why I consider you a part of my lonesome time. I really don't know Dalal, but there is an urge in me to see you. is it a feel to escape what i am in (a lotta work) or a normal nostalgic feeling?
maybe this questioning is because I'm usually a solo in my daily life there are some moments in the day when i see people and then they fade within so many occurrences, coincidences and plans.
my brain is always busy, but rarely about other people, the people in my mind are very limited. I don't know if it's a good thing or not, it's not because I'm selfish but my head cannot stand not relating thoughts together that made my thoughts shift from the norm..
but this urge of traveling to where you are is making me into the absolute missing of a friend, although I am interested in the way you think it is no longer interesting at this time.. i just need this presence of someone I care about, not necessarily to have a conversation.
3 comments:
My dearest Deema
Being here is nothing like I have imagined it to be. In this time of my life I find myself being attached to the people that surrounded me more than ever. This constant wondering of where they are and are they doing just won’t leave my thoughts and sometimes dreams.
Every Monday morning at exactly 11 am here 7 pm Kuwait time I think to myself; Deema must be at Dar Al Athar this moment, and since I receive their emails, sometimes I goole what the lecture’s about and hope I was there.
I miss our accidental encounters at our “famous” coffee shop where, a quick visit to by my coffee turns into hours of random thoughts on life between two single gals.
Or when you call asking for a book or a municipality related question and we stay up to 2 or 3 am talking and forgetting what started this phone call.
I keep thinking about the last picnic we had; the food, the music, the dome…
I miss your aroundness. I miss the easy option of seeing you or talking to you.
It seems that everything in our friendship is random, unintentional and lovely…
Here everything going the Dalal’s way since I’m truly solo, but when ever I see or experience something wonderful I feel like telling someone who understand why a an African Jazz concert would bring tears into my eyes, I realize it’s 3 am back home.
Wish I was there or you were here….
Dalal
oh.. i think my coffee is cold now i just forgot to have it while reading..
anyways it can wait until i finish my reply.
you know what you said is recalled from the past but it nothing like a conventional past. i think there is something very special about the past that made that wonderful, it just because we lived every moment of it.
the other day "Zah" wasn't feeling good while she was working she suddenly told me "i hate that!! i didn't dream last night and whenever i try to get back to my dreaming state i feel irritated :)
it is the same.. fully lived moments can reach the level of dreams..
thank you dearest, there will be time, but as usual between us, unexpected
How touching..friends forever:)
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